I do love old school things. You know the ones, those pixelated games that act like a throwback to your past, but retain a lot of what is good about the current day gaming scene, like Super Meat Boy, Bit Trip and so on. I saw Electronic Super Joy and decided that it would be worth a punt, as it ticked all the right boxes in the retro looks, quirky music and I just assumed the gameplay would be pretty good quality....
I kind of missed the mark with that one. Sure, it does have a retro feel about it, but it just feels like you're trudging through the same level time after time after time, with only the background colour changing and not much else. The music is ok, but the checkpoints sound like they've been sampled from porn movies, which if a 7 year old ends up playing should make for some good dinner table conversation.
Platform games should never feel like a chore, but this one does. I never really felt like I WANTED to get to the end, but Meat Boy was different. It had a purpose, not to mention a load more colour than this does. There's no story to speak off.... well, by that I mean the story is so stupid that it doesn't bear thinking about. Apparently you're doing this in revenge of losing your butt, which is stupid. Some of the "plot points" are just so bad, not to mention potentially offensive that you feel the game has to rely on shock tactics to make itself heard above the mediocrity. As an example, at the end of world one you have to kill the Pope, by stomping on his head. Why? How is that of any hilarity at all? I mean, I'm not religious, but that is not a good subject to tackle in a game full of swearing and what have you.
Either way, Electronic Super Joy didn't give me ANY joy whatsoever. In fact, it left me cold, wishing to not go near it again. It has no replay value, not even an ability to come back and finish it. It just sits there like the misfit it actually is.
Truthfully, there are loads of other options out there, like Rayman Legends which can be picked up dirt cheap now, Super Meat Boy, which can now be played on Xbox One and don't forget the beautiful Ori as well. All of these options are worth your money more than this. ESJ just doesn't do anything and, more importantly, doesn't work hard enough to justify the spending of cash upon it.
It's like someone forgot to put 50p in the meter on the Mario Bros set and then decided that they had to drop the budget and use props from Prisoner: Cell Block H. It's tacky, pointless and just doesn't seem enjoyable at all. It does have leaderboards though, so the people that that stuff matters to can at least show off, but there is little else here to enjoy.
Go elsewhere for your platform fun, as you'll find no joy here.
