Let me get something out there before we get started on this review. Monkey Pirates feels like a game that should be on mobile devices, and one that should probably be free, let alone paid for. But here we are, on the Xbox One, with a game that took me around 20 minutes to get the most out of as a solo player, and left me with no desire to pursue the local only versus mode.
So, what have we actually got here? In Monkey Pirates you control one of 4 different pirates, each of which with their own (supposed) strengths. Gibburt Lancaster has a boat that can turn easily, Inigo Mandrilla is able to reload quickly, Oranglu Tan's boat 'shots' very far (yes that spelling mistake is actually in the game) and the twins Wei and Sin Stiti have a very quick boat. Each have their own challenge map......and that's about all there is to it. The characters don't exactly feel different to each other – I couldn't feel that one was quicker than the other, or turns easier, they all felt pretty much the same. Once you have taken on each challenge, which last around a minute each, you can either do them again to try and beat the high score, or you can (as I would suggest) go to the game and uninstall, because the depth of the game has already been discovered.
One slight redeeming feature, is the way in which you are able to control your boat. It isn't quite as simple as turning and going (well it sort of is). You need to take into consideration the wind direction, with some directions leading you to move quickly, and others you won't move at all. This will mean that you may need to build up momentum to get to certain areas of a map. Each map has upgrades you can pick up for your ship, from armour upgrades to new gun placements. They are usually temporary improvements lasting a certain amount of shots or time before going back to stock ship settings.
While I didn't play the local versus mode, I don't see it making he game last any more than 5-10 minutes more before leaving it in the virtual pile. This is not a game that belongs on a home console, and while it does 'only' cost £3.99 I would be disheartened if I had paid any money for the game. Yes it is aimed at a younger audience, but I struggle to see it being able to keep them engaged for very long either with it's cripplingly limited features. This is definitely one to avoid.
**Thank you to XCN for the opportunity to review the game**